12 Steps for Attachment Recovery
Step 1
We admitted that our patterns of attachment were shaping our lives and relationships in ways we could not control
Step 2
Came to believe that secure connection—within ourselves and with others—was possible
Step 3
Made a decision to begin practicing new ways of relating, even when they felt unfamiliar or unsafe.
Step 4
Made a searching and honest inventory of our relational patterns, wounds, and defenses.
Step 5
Shared our patterns and wounds with another person, allowing ourselves to be seen.
Step 6
Became willing to release protective strategies that no longer serve connection.
Step 7
Practiced new behaviors of openness, boundaries, and attunement.
Step 8
Became aware of the ways our patterns have affected others.
Step 9
Made amends where possible, through changed behavior and honest repair.
Step 10
Continued to observe our patterns and return to awareness when we drift
Step 11
Sought to deepen connection through presence, self-awareness, and relational practice.
Step 12
Having begun to experience more secure connection, we share this way of living with others